Net4TV Voice: Online Has Changed Me By Calming My Panic

VoxPop: A Reader's Opinion

Online Has Changed Me By Calming My Panic

By Lynne
(March 25, 2001)

How has being online changed me?

I'd say, quite a bit!

I have severe Panic Disorder. If somebody doesn't know what that is, it's an illness that causes you to be in a constant state of extreme fear, even tho there is no reason to be fearful. Your body just reacts as if there was impending doom.

Alot of people have panic attacks, but Panic Disorder is a fairly constant state of being. You can't be outside cuz your away from your "securities", i.e. the phone, and other distractions.

You can't stay inside, cuz what if something happens to you, and nobody will know. Being on the web has allowed me to keep myself distracted from the fear. I have also been able to use my creativity, by building websites. I NEED a creative outlet, and it was lost when my PD became serious. Now, I can "create" all the time.

Even tho I am housebound, I can help others. I help anybody with anything I know. Also, being housebound, I lost my best and only friend. She had to go on with her life, while mine stagnated. I was able to meet new people, carry on conversations, just basically have human contact. I have also made a very good friend who means alot to me.

I have also made a closer friend of one who was an aquaintance of mine, living in my area. We share many thoughts and experiences thru the web.

You want more?

I was doing my genealogy..going to libraries, etc. for research. Now, I can do so much research on the web. Also, by putting my genealogy on the web, I have met many "cousins", and we share alot of family info. So, to sum it up, being on he web has made me feel like a human being again, giving me access to things that were lost when I developed my PD.

I get very fulfilled when someone thinks some website I made is awesome, or I am able to help others, or can stay in touch with the world around me, to have others that care about me, that I am able to care, and appreciate others. Severe Panic Disorder often leads to severe depresson, which I have been able to avoid, due to all the benefits I gain from my web experiences.

The drawback....oops, I have become a WebAholic.

Fortuanatly for me, my therapist thinks this is great therapy for me. It feeds so many of my needs, and keeps me from having those "impending doom" feelings. The more I realize that I can distract myself, and avoid having panic atacks, the more I can use this "distaction tool" for other purposes...i.e., going out of the house, doing chores...basically, just getting thru the day.

Now, instead of counting the minutes till I take my next pill, I actually forget to take them sometimes......which is a good thing!

So, yes, the web has changed things for me a great deal. Don't know what I would have done without it!

Lynne

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